Whoa.

Soooo. Where do i want to start with this. I finally made me a Blog. FINALLY. First i want to say to anyone reading this....I am glad you find me interesting enough that you want to read about my thoughts, feelings, and life experiences. BUT. Remember, this is MY blog. And before you get all mad about whatever it is i say on here, i did NOT ask anyone's appoval on my blogs that i choose to post. So. Now that that's out there.

I am COMPLETELY on an emotional rollercoaster as of late. I guess it could be because i'm pregnant (which if you didn't know...GUESS WHAT ! I'M PREGNANT!! :) ). But it's not all just raging hormones. I quite frequently think about our baby Rylee that we lost in April. I don't want this pregnancy to end the way that one did. He was such a life changing experience, our little blessing. He was beautiful. Too perfect for this world we live it. So ..... with the pregnancy I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I'm ecstatic. But most of all....I'm blessed. I want to tell the world...But i don't want anyone to know, that way if something happens, i won't have to talk about it with everyone. I won't have to feel like people are looking at me with pity. I don't want pity. If anything, i want prayers. But i will make it through whatever it is that God has in store for me. I may struggle along the way....but with God, and my wonderful husband, and my family, i KNOW that i can make it through anything.

We are about 7 weeks pregnant (tomorrow makes 7) and I can't wait til we go to the doctor for the first time. We go August 2nd, and that's only 11 days, but it's tick tocking by soooo slowly. I think i made the appointment about...10 days ago. And i just want it to be here so i can get some reassurance. Some positive notes. A pic of my lil kernal. Hear the beautiful sound of that tiny little heart. I'm soo anxious. The doctor's office i go to (Physicians To Women) is the BEST OB/GYN ever. They are all soooo nice and supportive. I can't wait. But enough jabbering about that. I'm off for the night.

I <3 u Pop, Rylee, and Lil Kernal ***11 days***