Great News

Well, first i want to thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers! They have been greatly appreciated!! We went to our first appointment today, our "confirmation" appointment. And things went really well. We got to hear our lil one's heart beat :) It's pumping along at 160 bpm !! Got 3 cute pix of our lil munchkin. I had so many questions for the doctor, but he summed everything up when we were talking. Everything with the baby looks good, we're due March 11th, which is what i figured the due date up to be. He said he thinks the first miscarriage could be related to the placenta previa that i had. I asked him if we could tell if i had placenta previa this time, and he said no, it was still too early. We should be able to tell next time on August 30th. He said he doesn't think that i will have it again, but there's no real certain way to tell just yet. He said he doesn't think we are going to have to put a cerclage in because he thinks my loss wasn't preterm labor (because it was too early) and it wasn't cervical incompetency (because that is usually something that happens once the baby gets bigger and puts more pressure on the cervix). So he thinks that maybe it was just my body realized something was wrong that they couldn't find at the point we were at (14wks4days). I think it was just God's plan. God knows what he's doing. I still have so much hurt and pain revolving around Rylee. I loved my son. I still do. I guess i just have to thrive on the fact that now, this pregnancy, my son/daughter, has a beautiful gaurdian angel watching over him/her. I know my son is above, watching over us, keeping his hands on us so we can make it through this pregnancy. This baby will always have an older brother. As soon as he/she is old enough, we will introduce him/her to this fact.

I learned later in my teens that my mom had a miscarriage before she had me. she was 13 weeks along. I felt so bad for her. My mom is such a strong person, and to know that she went through the feelings like i am now breaks my heart. I love her, and i wish i could take that time in her life away, but "what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger." When we lost Rylee, my mom was really upset then too. She's the kind of person, she doesn't deal well with those types of situations. She never knows what to say. I'm like that too. I sort of feel like my mom and i got closer because of this too. We've always been so much alike that we butt heads, and so we've had our tissies, and this just brought us closer.

BUT...I'm so happy :) I'm so ecstatic. I just wish this happiness could have continued with Rylee. I was so happy with him, and i will be with this baby, but i feel like my heart is tainted. I read a blog on this woman's page (not trying to steal her thoughts) but she hit the nail on the head when she said that she felt like women who lost their first baby would never have that great, happy go-lucky pregnancy experience because deep down, even if they get pregnant again with no complications, they will be scared/worried that the same thing could happen. She is so right.

Anyways, enough rambling. Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Hopefully things will be uneventful between now and March 11, and i'll have beautiful baby pix to post!!




*~* Cute Poem I found that i love *~*


"A Wee Bit Of Heaven"

A wee bit of heaven

Drifted down from above

A handful of happiness

A heartful of love


A mystery of life

So sacred and so sweet

The giver of joy

So deep and complete.


Precious and priceless

So lovable too

The world;s sweetest miracle

My baby, it's you.


- By Helen Steiner Rice