This & That

So...i've got a lot of thoughts going through my head at this point. I don't even know where to start.

We made it past the point where we lost Rylee. We were 14weeks4days with him. We're 17 weeks and 2 days now. yay :) So i'm so excited. I've been feeling the baby move quite a bit. Yesterday i think i even felt a strong kick. Heheh. It was amazing. I'm so so anxious to start feeling him/her more. I think that is the most anticipated part for me. AND i'm so excited to find out what my lil kicker is. We are so anxious. We were supposed to find out this past Monday at our last appointment, BUT our lil munchkin wouldn't lay still lol. He/she was kicking right towards the monitor. Lol.

But....all my excitement is dampened. Because...in 2 days it will be my due date with Rylee. I've done really well up until now. But it's hard not to think about it when the two people that were due around the same time as me are talking about the induction date and "nesting" and counting down the days. It's not their fault, and i don't have any negative feelings towards them, but i'm sad because that should have been me. I should be putting on my status ***2 days*** and other stuff like that. And although i am very thankful for the blessing that is growing inside of me, i can't help but be a little sad that my first is gone. No matter what i say or do or think, nothing can change that. I am just so upset. I haven't broken down in tears yet, but i have a gut feeling that they will come Tuesday.

Please. Friends who read this. Pray for me. Pray for this baby. Pray for my husband to be my strength, second to the Lord above.

I don't want anyone to misunderstand me. I don't want to change anything about my life. I love the baby inside of me. More than words can describe. Miscarriage and baby loss just SUCKS. I'm sure all the people who have experienced it will DEFINATELY agree with me.

On a good note, this pregnancy is going well. Other than the normal aches and pains associated with it, i haven't been sick except for a few times earlier on. Heartburn has been rare. Sleep is still coming pretty good. And i'm starting to show :) yay :)

Well i guess that's all for now.